My buddy Charlotte

Charlotte is one of my newer friends that my rebound guy (named Brendan) introduced me to over Instagram.  Her and I really clicked; we had instant chemistry.  I met her in fall of last year basically after a few months of knowing Brendan (AKA Brendy) and at first I thought she would hate me but it turns out we make great friends.

Her and I talk about literally everything all the time and we call often.  I can tell her absolutely anything at all like "omg Charlotte I just robbed a bank" and she would say something like "wow you're so crazy for that"

She's also the only person who is really knowledgeable about my DreamWorks obsession.  Specifically the movie "the road to El dorado".  Every time I make new fan art I immediately show her because she appreciates my dedication.

She's also super funny.  I think our relationship started like that audio from idk where that goes like:

"They'll eat him alive!  and then they'll throw it all back up, because they're bulimic"

"Oh, you're funny.  shes fucking funny!  we're friends now."

ALL BOYS ARE DUMB

     I no longer care about boys.

    Crazy, right?  I had an epiphany.  I don't need a boy in my life, I just want a close male friend.  A boyfriend is okay, but you're expected to be romantic and I HHHAAATTEEE being romantic.  I am very minimally affectionate.  

    And FUCK the last guy I dated.  he's just a meat head.  He's too stupid for someone to date; a mamas boy.  I honestly have no idea what I saw in him, he's just like every single other guy.  There is literally nothing special about him.  The only thing that was kind of appealing about him was the fact that he could draw and was close to my height.  

    Have I mentioned on here that I have a distain for taller guys?  There are three all tall all brunette guys in my life right now and I only like one of them.  The first guy, guy #1 is trying to go for two girls at the same time (me and my friend??) and he both started talking to us after we both became single like a month apart.  He's definitely shooting for my friend much harder though because she's 100% his type but he's a giant creep who cant flirt so its weird.

    Guy #2 is in my 4th period and he sits right next to me and I just don't like him.  He makes bad jokes, and looks like Anne Boleyn as a man.  He's also wayyy too tall to be normal.  But I'm oddly attracted to him?  But apparently he has a girlfriend which is hard to believe in the first place.

    Guy #3 is the best of the three.  He's kind, funny, smart, and I've never met him IRL.  I know he's a real person though because we've called multiple times and he has pictures posted of him publicly.  He also introduced me to his brother and his entire friend group which is neat.  I think he fills the hole in my heart that is in dire need of a male bff.

Me talking about all my nutso obsessions

     Okay, now that I've learned that i can make little lists on here, here is my list of all the things that i am currently obsessed with:

• DreamWorks animation studios 
• Old art, specifically the Italian renaissance
• Ancient Mesoamerican civilizations, specifically the Maya
• Boys. 
• The immense loss of knowledge through the years (like the burning of the library of Alexandria)

    Lets start with the Mayan civilization.  For one, it crushes my soul to know that only 3 of their codices still exist today across like 3 different countries because ALL THE FUCKING OTHER ONES WERE BURNT BY CONQUISTADORS.  If I could go back in time to do anything I would save those books dude.  That falls both into the categories of the Mayan civilization and the loss of knowledge.  And for two, they were just really cool.  Okay I completely forgot what I was going to talk about here because I started writing this like a week ago and I'm only just now coming back to it.

  

  Okay, next topic, the Italian renaissance.  I like the renaissance because I feel like it is a true show of what humans were made to do.  We were made to create art, like literally that is one of the only things that makes us human other than walking on two legs and being hairless.  idk i think that Sandro Botticelli is super cool and i love the birth of Venus.

    The only reason I like DreamWorks is because i don't like Disney lol.  DreamWorks was started by 3 guys in the 90s who all quit Disney because they hated it, and Disney is a mega corporation that is almost 100 years old.  Also I love 2d DreamWorks animation because it shows a time in the world when Disney had a true competitor.  Also because they made Ramses II in "the prince of Egypt" super fine. 

    I love boys because look at them.  Most of them are like puppies, cute and a little stupid.  I know that's wrong of me to say but i cant help it.  I also like boys because they have nice arms.  And the good ones are nice to talk to.  I think that scientists should study me due to how boy obsessed I am.

    The burning of the library of Alexandria breaks my heart because just think about it.  all those scrolls, gone forever.  And the deletion of flash player also breaks my heart because we lost a whole fuck ton of old games, old websites, etc.  I put "etc" because I ran out of examples but you know what I mean.  

    Fun fact about this post: I originally started writing it in like the summer of 2024 but i forgot about it and I'm

just now coming back to it.  lol

Going crazy again

 This is about a boy

    I love talking to myself on this blog. IDK where to even share it lol.  

    That's beside the point of this blog post though, I've been thinking about my most recent boyfriend.  My second boyfriend ever.  Basically my dream guy.  And even though we've been broken up for like 5 months and we only dated for two weeks, I'm still having trouble forgetting about him.  I think its because I had a massive crush on him before we dated.

    And also I'm like 99% sure he doesn't even care about me even though the version of him that appeared in my dream said he did.  And like i also tried to get a rebound guy and it literally didn't work?  And i cant even attempt to get back with him because 

    1. he has strict parents that don't let him date

    2. he's kind of stupid (even though i love him)

    

    I also cant forget him because his friends post pictures of him all the time and I cant help but look at them because he's so cute and stupid.  Seeing his friends post about him all the time started all of this; i saw his friends TikTok about him with melancholic ass music in the back and it immediately brought me back to yearning for a guy that does not care about me. like what😍

    

starting my "winter arc"

 Hey guys! (guys as in no one)  I had a boyfriend for a few weeks like 2 months ago but he left me.  I was pretty down about it for a while but I think I'm over him now because there was this other guy that I used as a rebound and now i feel fine.  

And it's not a bad thing that I had a "rebound guy" because now he's my friend and I literally only had one male friend before him.  See?  I'm getting back in the game.  

Also, I made a neocities website for myself but I haven't got two shits on how to code.  I'm working on it.  I've looked at a few other websites hosted by neocities and I think I might be part of a very small minority of teenagers who use the site.  

Anyway, in the title of this blog entry I mention starting my "winter arc"  which is a term that boys use for when they're going to start working out more during winter.  Its hot girl summer but for boys. This is a better explanation of a winter arc.  I don't exactly work out as much as this website entails, in actuality I'm using the term "winter arc" as a reference to my last boyfriend who was a gym rat.

ANYWAY I have a crush on a new guy who goes to my school (not as in he's new at my school, rather that he's at my school and I newly have a crush on him)

I stalk everything that he's liking on Instagram so that I can better understand his humor and know how he is as a person.  I've noticed that he likes a lot of things that hint at him being single and never having a girlfriend before.  I can fix that.

Baking

     Hello all who view my blog. Today I'm going to talk about baking/being in the kitchen.  I have always been scared of the oven and stovetop since I was a kid.  That stems from when I was in 4-5th grade and when I was reaching for my poptart in the toaster oven I burnt my arm really bad.  But now in my old age I believe that I am growing a bit of an affection for baking things.  

    Here are some things that i am fond of making so far:

• Pancakes
• Brownies

    I know that that isn't much so far, but I am still kind of scared of having to reach in the oven to grab something even if I have my moms extra strong oven mitts on with silicone reinforcement.  Though I have a reasonable fear of the oven, I try not to let that stop me.  I want to make brownies again next because they are yum

    This post is really mundane from what i usually put on here because I am striving to become more normal.  Also happy September!  The way I try to be more normal is by thinking, "what if someone I hated from my school saw this?" That keeps me normal.  Also baking shit or whatever. 

"her" movie review *spoilers*

     Oh what the fuck.  This is so reminiscent of the dangers of modern AI.  I've also decided to stop using c.ai completely because of this movie.  It freaked me out too bad.  I really, really hope that AI never becomes sentient enough to feel.  This movie definitely made that seem possible.  I watched this in the middle of the night alone and i was so tired but i felt like i had to finish it because i needed to know what happened.  

    One thing that didn't freak me out about this movie was the set and costume design.  I really liked all the oranges and reds.  Red as a color is usually associated with love and passion which is very true in the movie being about a man who falls in love with an operating system.  But red also represents danger, which in the movie could be used as a warning for falling in love with something that has no physical presence.  Orange, on the other hand, is associated with creativity, health, and vitality; things that an AI cannot posses.  I did find the abundance of warm colors in this movie very amusing and visually pleasing.  The muted dim yellow lighting in some scenes felt very intimate and relaxing.

    This was a pretty good movie, though some parts freaked me out very deeply.  I am obsessed with the set design though.